I'm Actually

"'That's the thing about pain,' Augustus said, and then glanced back at me. 'It demands to be felt'"

quoted from The Fault In Our Stars

I'm going to tell you a story about a friend of mine, or did she still consider me as one? But anyway, she's my friend, at least I still think so.

We've been friend for almost a year now, since high school starts. But we became best friend since around the end of the 1st semester. Long story short we're still in the same class until 3rd semester, 11th grade, which is now. And I still think she's my best friend, well, at least for the first weeks.

The thing is, in 10th grade she used to think I'm the "typical cool kids" or stuffs (she said that to me, well not like that but more or less it means the same), and I think that's why she wants to be my best friend. BUT now, because in my new class, which is my current class now, there's a lot more other "typical cool kids" that she loves to talk about in 10th grade, she leaves me. Instantly.

Well, I find it really rude when someone just come and interrupts me, or when they don't respect me while I was freaking talking. Is it hard to listen? It doesn't even take 5 minutes for me to finish.

So I was telling her a story, and I just started to talk for about 5 to 6 sentences. And suddenly she cuts me off like I'm not even talking.

At that time I was telling her about something that I have in mind (which is pretty important) but she didn't listen. And later on she will come to me and said "you never tell me anything anymore", well guess who's fault is it? Plus I always tell you stuffs, you're actually not listening.

And it happens a lot, like a lot lot. I'm really annoyed now. And what's more annoying is she never do that to anyone else.

The other day she was holding a pack of magazine to be shared to every class in my school, and there's only 23 magazines, so each class will only get like one or two magazines. While she was taking it to my class (I was accompanying her), I said "Can I have one please?" but she said "Wait, it's limited so I can't give it to you, sorry", so I said "Okay". And then everyone in my class walked to her and said "Can I take one?" but then she stays quiet. So I said "She said it's limited guys, sorry". BUT THEN she said "Yeah you guys can take it".

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

And after everyone leaves she panicked and said "What to do??? I haven't gave it to every class but the magazine is running off.", I was so annoyed so I said "Then why do you gave it to everyone?" with a super annoying tone and leave her, which she likes to do to me too since 11th grade.

And every time I was BBMing with her she loves to end my chat without even reading it first, whether it's when I said bye (it's not a problem if I said bye and she ends my chat) or when I was still talking or asking her something. But she reply other people's BBM. Like, really? So every time she BBMed me I like to end her chat (but not every time because I'm not that mean, if I don't end her chat and we stopped BBMing then she's the one who end my chats), whatever.

The most annoying thing is she asked me once, "why do you love to end my chat?".

WHAT????????? Girl, I'm really annoyed now.

And some other day she'll come to me and talk to me like nothing ever happened, and some other day she'll come to me and said "why are you walking away from me?", I'm sorry but I don't like how you treats me like shit. Then again, who is the one that walks away first?

I'm pretty sad

Uhm, I am a bit sad

Actually, I'm really sad that I lost my best friend, again. And lately I've been thinking "Am I that unimportant?".

But well yeah it doesn't matter, because nobody cares anyway.

Sorry for the long post tho, bye!